They say, he is jealous - that means he loves.
But sometimes jealousy becomes so strong that there is no room for love.
Insult, humiliate, hit your loved one is impossible! Love is not aggressive.
What is the danger of jealousy, and why should not it be allowed to grow in the soul, killing love?
Jealousy is a tyrannical feeling. No wonder they say that from jealous grooms indifferent husbands get, and from jealous brides - hateful wives. Love makes happy, jealousy - unhappy. If jealousy prevails in a person, then his heart has left love, which is expressed in trust, in the wish of happiness. At the heart of jealousy is not love, but a multifaceted inferiority complex-a mixture of mistrust, vanity, notorious defeat and proprietary feeling that predetermines a person as a thing, depriving him of the right to be himself. And when this emotion grows and finds painful features - the preservation of relations in general is in question. Daily scenes of jealousy endure not everyone.
Jealousy often manifests itself in a manic search"Evidence", which in actual fact have no relation to real adultery. Jealous man unconsciously wants to make sure of his rightness, to make sure of the worst assumptions. To the jealous, it seems that by "bringing to the surface" and subordinating the partner to his own serenity, he will find the lost harmony. Alas, everything is exactly the opposite. A jealous man, in the desire to control a partner, goes further and leads a deadlock. Under the pressure of jealousy on the part of the partner, a person loses the ability for a sincere relationship, closes, becomes secretive. Therefore, husbands or wives lying to their "half" most often appear where there is jealousy.
Jealousy is blind, but the logic of a jealous personIs often absurd. A jealous person seeks to spoil the mood of those who are close, endless "interrogations with addiction," whims, emotional outbursts of negativity. A jealous person is inclined to accuse a loved one not only of real misconduct, but also of imaginary, if not completely invented, sins! After all, the imagination of a jealous man sometimes becomes monstrous.
Calm explanations of certain imaginaryCrimes against a jealous person do not work. The arguments of the mind are taken into consideration reluctantly, any circumstance is considered through a magnifying glass, and insignificant details are perceived as fatal circumstances. The real state of things is seen in a distorted light. The devil of jealousy turns "a fly into an elephant", disfigures the eyes of a jealous person and the object of his love, and those who are absolutely not involved in a contrived jealous conflict.
If a person's life is occupied by a jealous personPartner, constantly spying and looking for evidence of infidelity - there is depression, and even "flights in a dream and in reality," a lie, concealment of the truth, the search for vents. If you understand, then to betrayals of spouses or partners, they are usually pushed by intrusive "halves" who unceremoniously make a revision in the life of a loved one, often losing sense of proportion in words and deeds, than pushing a partner away from themselves. If mutual love or affection is strong - the one who was tortured by jealousy, withdraws into itself, "folds its wings", becomes internally indifferent to one's own life, and sometimes - falls into a sluggish and almost imperceptible to others, depression. So relationships poisoned with jealousy, give birth to losers, destroy a career, deprive a person of creative manifestations, and in the end - make the partner internally lonely and unhappy. Such a person loses the ability to love. And begins a painful, dull, destructive for both loneliness together, where everyone pulls the strap of family life, forgetting about the joys of life and perceiving daily squabbles, and even scandals - as a matter of course.
Love is not only emotional, spiritual andPhysical attachment, but also respect for the personality of the other. Jealousy in advance condemns the beloved person to disrespect, sometimes quite demonstrative, undermining the authority of the individual among those around him. Jealous spouses can easily roll an ugly public brawl, discrediting both themselves and their "half" in the eyes of those who turned out to be an unwitting witness to a difficult scene.
Aggressive, staggered jealousy suppressesPositive emotions in a person, make him suspicious, rude, inflated. A person caught up in jealousy tends to verbal and physical violence against the personality of another, to humiliate a partner or self-abasement - in an attempt to provoke pity, to oblige, to deprive free emotional life. And this often leads to the fact that the "affected" party decides to change its life not only emotionally, but also bodily - committing real treason or breaking off relations with an importunate hysterical partner in order to gain at least some peace and freedom.
The main problem of a jealous person is his own self-esteem.
The only way is to step back from the partner andUnderstand: jealousy is a destructive emotion, and in neglected form it is a disease. Do not torment him and yourself, to work more productively to solve your psychological problems. To turn to a psychologist, if jealousy goes off scale, becomes obvious to others. Bring yourself in order externally and internally. Refuse to drink alcohol, which, as you know, provokes conflicts based on old grievances and annoying accidents. Dedicate time to your hobby, find an interesting lesson. In other words, to redirect energy to a positive channel, to increase one's self-esteem.
Getting self-esteem, a person becomesSelf-sufficient, independent - and therefore will appreciate the relationship with the partner, respect his choice, reckon with his personal space. This means that such relations will be more stable, more protected from invasion from outside - in the form of a rival or rival, who, as you know, appear where the relationship has long cracked.
Of course, all this does not apply to easy injectionsJealousy, which inevitably mingled with a love feeling and serve, rather, an additional incentive to give a partner the confidence that they are not indifferent to him. In addition, mild jealousy keeps feelings in tone, forcing a person to improve - externally and internally. After all, when you feel that with you there is a sensitive, understanding and intimate person, you do not really want to look at strangers.