What lies behind these or other actions of people? How to understand the causes of their behavior?
Each of us met with a situation of misunderstandinganother man. We can not understand why it behaves this way and not otherwise, his feelings and way of thinking. It is difficult to understand the opposite sex. In romantic relationships, the issue of lack of understanding of another becomes particularly relevant. Why did he or she does not respond to SMS? Why not show attention? Why does something that clearly do not need it? We ask ourselves these and other questions, puzzled, looking for answers, and often do not find them ....
We do not understand the other, primarily becauseWe look at the man with his "bell tower", using its experience and patterns of behavior. We could not help trying to fit under another manifestation of our expectations, and they do not match. And here begins what people call a misunderstanding. He has to do one thing, but for some reason does another.
To understand another person suggest using the following algorithm:
1.; The first and most important step is this: divide the behavior of another person in a particular situation (in which you and want to understand) their expectations and stereotypes.
For example, you do not understand your boss,who is too polite, it shows rude and exerts pressure. Divide the situation on your expectations and its manifestations. Your expectations are that in relation to you, he behaved consistently, correctly, fairly and kindly. Its manifestations - the inconsistency and lack of tact.
2.; After the first paragraph remains the objective behavior of the other person that you do not yet understand, namely why the chief behaves inconsistently and incorrectly? To answer this question we need to understand that any behavior allows a person to achieve a useful psychological purpose for him.
3 .; Let us ask ourselves, what gets people behaving this way?
In our example, with the chief question isIt sounds like this: "What goals have reached the chief, showing courtesy, and then putting pressure"? It is clear that, when dealing kindly, he showed positive emotions and enjoy it, to make a constructive wave in the working relationship, shows his liberality, etc. And exerting pressure to prove and assert its leading position and to enforce a specific order. Human behavior can be inconsistent, if it achieves different goals. You just have to identify them.
So, from an objective point of view, everything becomesmore understandable if we step back from their attitude and consider human behavior as having some useful psychological purpose for him (or purpose).
I propose to use this algorithm when you want to understand the other person. I wish you success!