Each of us there are moments in life when it is "black bar": everything goes wrong when life seems unfair and dull. Each in its own way out of these states.
One way out of the negative conditions that occur during the "black band" is a confidential conversation with a psychologist, therapist, or someone else.
And now we will talk about how the principles ofto be followed to this conversation saved us from negative experiences, has helped to take another look at themselves and their problems (thus helping to solve them) and thus would not be burdensome for the person with whom we are talking.
Experienced psychologists specially create suchthe conditions in which a person (the client) tells about their feelings and experiences. And, most importantly, do not just say, as it were, re-live them and thus frees himself. You receive a new look at the problem and a new opportunity to solve it. Creating such conditions is quite accessible for us.
But before you learn how to create their own, let's talk about those negative experiences, so that we interfere.
Many know the flow patternemotional states, which can be formulated as follows: any emotional status (positive or negative) extends its cycle and is converted into something else, that is disappearing in the form in which it was originally.
What does this mean? This means that any emotional state will never be eternal, that sooner or later it will have to change. In place of the one always experiences the others come. You can not, so to say, be angry all the time. It will be simply impossible.
The realization of this law eliminates theunnecessary worries and unrest. However, although any experience sooner or later go away, it can take a long time. There is a way to greatly speed up the process. You just have to watch this experience, without impeding the flow of it, consciously live it.
No feeling, no matter how strong can notharm us if we just get along it. For example, if you are angry, do not rush to hide this feeling deep within himself or throw out it on others. Define it (ponder what kind of anger at someone, when she appeared), watch it, feel it, let it be. And it can not not disappear.
In fact, these conditions and creates a therapist to the person feel better.
We can only just learning how to create such conditions in the life of their own.
Immediately, we note that not everyone is a friend or a friendHe can help us, and the only one for which there is a serious psychological stress to listen to us with our problems. It must be a man who will not take too close to the heart of our problems, and that, at the same time, treat us well and is able to sympathize with us at least to a small extent. Well, if it's a close person who understands us. In fact, from this man do not need nothing but the ability to listen patiently to us.
And now, in fact, what you need to do:
1. Ask your friend to pay you for a while.
2. If your friend is ready to help you, tell about what it means to you this unpleasant situation (for example, if you have some difficulties in some area of life, you say, "I'm having difficulty ... and I want it to solve").
3. Tell us about the essence of the situation. You can use an indicative list of questions that you will answer.
- What happened (when ?, where?)
- What is your attitude to the situation?
- Why is it so important for you?
- What is the role played in it by other people?
- How do you see the development of events?
- What can you do to find a solution?
4.; In the course of your story talk about your feelings about the events that you're willing to say this person (eg, "... it has caused irritation in me," or "..this turn of events has caused joy"). It is most important. Talking about feelings, you will neutralize the negative charge that they are currently carrying.
5, finished discussing ways out of your problem situation. Speaking about the problem, you have cleared a place for making the right decisions.
6, Thank your friend. That's all!
Proceed very carefully and dosing timesuch work. No need in one sitting to try to solve all problems at once. Be careful with strong feelings and remember that no feeling can not tell you any harm if you simply live. You just need to be careful and patient. And another warning - your friend is in contrast to the professionals are not prepared for the job, so the responsibility for progress lies with you. If you feel that this situation is uncomfortable for your friend, then walk to a logical point, and finish the process.
However, even here it is not necessary to be afraid of anything. One method that is proposed here, has been used in one form or another throughout the history of mankind. Since ancient times, people were shooting and removed the goods from his soul, sharing their experiences.