In family life, it's hard not only for adults, but also for children.
Especially difficult when in the house of the stepmother. Children who have lost one of their parents try to idealize the other.
In general, children consider the divorce to be a temporary phenomenon and dream that their family will soon reunite.
But here comes into the house a new mom or a new dad.
How should they treat their nonnative children?
Do not try to behave like a mother or father,Because this is the most common mistake. The child should be treated well, but you can not go beyond the boundaries. Respect, trust and love of the child can not be obtained in the first week. Establish contact is necessary gradually, and then the child, if he wants to get to know each other, will make a step forward.
It is necessary to spend as much time as possible onCommunication with the child, and in this communication it is necessary to learn it. A child is neither an enemy nor an ally, but simply a person to whom one should be treated kindly.
Bad relations between "non-native" members of the familyDestroy the family principle. Very often, the main reason for this is the gigantic tension between them. The tension automatically affects the relationship between the spouses, and the resulting "non-native" parents always resolve the conflicts that arise as a result differently than with their own children. For example, if there is a conflict between the stepfather and stepchild, he most likely will not scold him, beat him, hurt him or force him to do it right, but, probably, will do all this in relation to his children. Why? This behavior in relation to the stepson is regarded as an attempt to drive him out of the house.
Therefore, the child must be punished by the biologicalparent. It happens that parents blame themselves for divorcing themselves, and, in the end, smoothing the blame before the child, allow him too much. In this situation, too, you should not interfere, but give the opportunity to make decisions to biological parents.
There are also cases when after a divorceThe child is brought up very strictly. The reason for this rigor is the fear that the child may become uncontrollable after the parents' divorce. But, if the biological parent pampers the child too much, he, of course, will wait for the same from the adoptive parent.
If a non-native father or mother wants to establishRelationships in the family, they must remember that they will never be replaced by real parents. It is also necessary to be prepared for the fact that the child will scandal and show their rights to the biological parent who they want to take away.