The appearance of a new member of the family is a long-awaited moment and, of course, joyful!
Only many couples do not take into account the fact thatUntil this moment, they lived according to certain norms and rules, which became part of the relationship and are almost never noticed. When the structure of the family changes, the rules of interaction also change.
Up to the most banal - who to go to the store for food, who and how to answer for life, entertainment, etc.
And this stage of relations is considered a crisis.
Like any crisis, on the one hand, it brings changes and new opportunities, and on the other, it introduces uncertainty and vulnerability.
You will need
- Moral readiness for change
- Positive attitude to what is happening
- Understanding that all couples are going through this
- Partner Support
Distribution of duties. Agree immediately - who is responsible for what. Anyway, as before it will not be and the sooner you talk about who is now washing the dishes, preparing, earning money, taking care of the child ..., the less will be accumulated discontent and claims to each other. On the one hand, it seems that everything is clear - but no. For example, Mom needs help in caring for the baby and the time that she needs for herself - a beauty salon, a gym, a meeting with girlfriends, etc. A spouse may feel that the mother with the child, sitting at home, especially in her time does not need - and so all the time it. Also, on the contrary, it seems to each spouse that the other is easier in this period and the whole weight of the new situation lies only on his shoulders. And instead of mutual assistance, the spouses begin to compete - who is heavier.
Speak as much as possible. Discuss with each other everything - you have so much now new, consult, tell. If something goes wrong, as you would like - do not be silent. Accumulated grievances are like water, which grinds a stone ... The female organism at this time functions in a special way and the emotional sphere is very vulnerable. Talk about your feelings, changes to your partner, and if you need support, ask, few people know how to wish for another.
Remember, you are a couple! Remember more often the period when there were only two of you - your acquaintance, meetings, joint holidays ... Looking at each other over time becomes through the prism of the parental roles, but in fact you continue to be for each other those unique, unique, desired .... Leave the place and time when you are two loving each other person. Going to the cinema, a restaurant together - will help refresh the feelings and fill them with special warmth. Remember, the earlier you loved to work together? Return some joint kinds of pastimes whenever possible, modify. And maybe over time, and the kid will join you in your hobbies.
Joint time. It often seems to young mothers that dads are awkward in handling a child. Help them learn how to help you in caring for your child. Sometimes it happens that the mother is absorbed by the baby and the husband can not find a place in this duet. There are thoughts that when the baby grows up, then the dad can play with him, spend time .... Include your dad in this process from the very birth of the child - joint emotions will help to feel support for each other and get closer. And trust and warmth will hold your family together.