Modern families are not always complete.
It also happens that the family consists of a mother and child.
Why this happens and how to tell a child about the father, if he left his family?
According to a variety of reasons, single mothersIt becomes larger. For example, women decide to have a child, and it does not matter that there are no men in their lives. In the end, the manufacturer is much easier to find than a husband for herself and for the baby daddy. Also do not forget about sperm banks, let alone to feed, clothe, educate and raise a child by virtue of a woman, especially when the wings always have grandparents who dream of grandchildren.
How to be mothers, whose children from "the pope did not have"? What to say to children how to behave? The situations are very different: the woman became pregnant for sebya- guy left to learn about beremennosti- husband found another ...
If it happened in a civilized way, it's prettyjust. His parents divorced, the child is likely to remain with the mother, and my father is now visiting his already former family congratulates the child on his birthday or New Year and take part in his life. The kid in this case increases with the understanding that he does have a dad who lives separately.
But to say that the child, if Dad never meet with the child, or the child does not know anything about the existence of the Pope?
Father the Hero
This method was popular in the SovietUnion. Woman invent the myth of the great and wonderful man (father of the child), which was insanely happy birth of a son / daughter, but who tragically died. Rather, he died as a hero. To confirm this legend, you can show your child pictures, letters, write the story of how you met, fell in love, and so on. Maybe even tell the child based on a true story, but slightly embellished stories. Psychologists, by the way, single moms are advised to do so, that the child in the head was formed "the bright image of the father." In this case, the child will understand that he is wanted by both parents, and will not feel unnecessary.
But there is such a method, and a negative point,which teaches that even a white lie is still a lie. Are you able to feel good about themselves in relation to a child, starting a relationship with him with a lie? In addition, no one gives a guarantee that never will be any well-wisher who wants to tell a child the truth. Or, even more interesting, you may receive, and the father himself, which will lead to incredible effects on children's joy to distrust you.
Go to answer
"Mom, why Petya and Vasya have a father, and I haveno? Where's my dad? "-" What is the pope? You've got a mother, you did not? No? Well that's all, no Pope, and we do not need. " Some moms jealously guard their right to be a single parent. It is possible that they are completed due to the fact that they can not give the child anything that might give a complete family and protected, going on the attack.
In part, they really believe that my mother isthe only necessary being, and always take offense to the child when it comes to some there is "unnecessary" elements in the form of the pope. Often, girls who have grown up in a family with a mother, themselves become lonely mother. This, of course, is wonderful when a child has a loving, beautiful and strong mother, capable to replace the two parents, but over time the child realizes that there must be another person who participated in its birth, and which does not have right now.
"Your father - a fool and a scoundrel, you tell him notI need, because he left you. Do not even need to be a psychologist to understand that such an option is not the most correct. Whatever wild resentment is not tormented by a woman, it is unacceptable to burden on the fragile shoulders of children, even if the father is actually a real animal. We need to understand that the child is at the very young age, he understands that it has something to and from my mother and from her father, especially if he is told that he is like a father.
It is very difficult to describe in simple terms childrenthe pain of the fact that some part of it comes from the ugly and vile beings, how it in this case describes dad mom. As a result it becomes scary to hate his own face, and even the manner of walking just for the fact that it resembles the beloved mother of hatred for the man. As much as you hated my husband, do not show this child - save him from this.
Tell the truth
Perhaps this is the most correct and acceptableoption - to tell the child the truth. Of course, on the same level at which it will be clear, and these words that will not shock him. But it is better not to rush things. If the child does not ask, it is better not to start a conversation. If you ask, we can say that you do not know if you really do not know, or say that he lives very far away. For some time, the child's response to such a simple suit.
Explain that there are families in which there isfather, mother and child. There are families in which there is also a grandmother, grandparents, and other children. And there you are - mother and child. Try idealized image of his father, and not mix it with mud.