In the previous part of our study, we analyzed what the mental traps are, what they are and how they manifest in our minds.
In the continuation of the topic, we conclude with an introduction to the types that André Kukla singles out in the book "Mental Traps," and find out what the author offers as a therapy.
In the trap of separation ("sitting on two chairs"),Often people with a lot of responsibilities or hobbies. They try to work with two clients at the same time, without helping anybody at the same time. Engaged in needlework, reading a book, and do not understand anything from the text, and then the loop escaped. It's impossible to be all at once, it's an objective truth. If it seems that the soil is getting out from under the feet, it makes sense to prioritize and rewrite the cases in a notebook: noting the passed stages, we will understand that the issues are being systematically solved, and nothing at the same time escapes attention. So why add stress to the body, causing it at once to eat both the cake and the roast?
"Hurry up - people make fun of it," - say to yourselfMore often, to avoid the trap of acceleration. It is better to subtract the document properly, consult with competent people, than to run several times to sign it. It is important to understand for yourself when it quickly means operatively, and in which cases - hastily and prematurely. Analyze a concrete situation: if I once again think, will the result change? Will I find a mistake, will the bright idea illuminate me - or, on the contrary, just stretch out time, hitting any of the traps? If deliberation has benefited, then we have just avoided the trap of acceleration.
The last two pitfalls of André Koukla define this: "Regulation is a trap of useless prescriptions, and formulation is useless descriptions." They directly characterize the constant work of the brain, from which it is almost impossible to get rid of and which very much hinders to live. Our minds are always "underfoot", creating unnecessary tension. We fall into the trap of regulation, giving ourselves small orders, without which not only could we manage, but we would feel much better at the same time. The command "it is necessary to stretch the stiff leg" actually prolongs the torment exactly on the microseconds that we spent on unnecessary thought. Although you could just reach out - and that's it, the problem is solved. But we have come a long way: first we felt discomfort, then we thought what to do with it, then we gave ourselves a task and fulfilled it.
The trap of formulation also made usTo suffer - because the discomfort first had to be realized and indicated, and only then decide what to do with it. And formulating the joys of the world around, we actually steal them from ourselves. Enjoying the fresh wind instantly loses value, you just need to formulate it: "How do I enjoy the fresh wind!" It turns out, as if we are trying to convince ourselves of this, which means we do not trust ourselves so much that we need proofs expressed in words? It's like a sports commentator who, while practicing wit, interferes with watching what is happening on the screen. Disconnect the commentator within yourself, let it not interfere with listening to the world around you.
In fact, these two traps generateThe subsequent problems - once having started the mechanism of the infinite analysis, we invent difficulties from scratch, copy tension and desperately try to remove it, becoming more and more tangled in conglomerations of thoughts. No wonder many psychologists advise you to learn the practices that help to disconnect the brain and listen to the subconscious. The inner voice directs us and quite successfully copes with this task, but the habit of trusting the mind and not trusting intuition generates uncertainty.
Distrust of impulses - that's what Andre statesDoll as one of the reasons for falling into the trap. We have got used to consider the prescription as effective, it seems to us that simply to get up and wash the dishes is an unreliable way to restore order, it is necessary to set a goal, say it and then get down to business. Of course, immediately on the way there is a wall of traps: resistance, tightening, then acceleration, separation - and eventually stress. Is it not better to just train yourself in faith to yourself, to feel the moment when the forces fill us, and refraining from the diagnosis: "The forces are filled, I'll go wash." And just take it and make it.
The wonder that life can be so simple -The first thing we will encounter, trying to get rid of the authoritarian regime of your own brain. To do this, Andre Kukla proposes, as it were, from the side to observe the manipulations of the mind on elementary examples from everyday life. Indeed, after all, we even wake up already in the power of traps and fall asleep, trying in vain to get rid of the obsessive "neighbor" in our head. A simple alarm clock ring causes us to formulate (I do not want to get up), regulation (it is necessary), resistance, tightening (well, even a minute), acceleration (late), fixation (I'm late!), Separation, advance (at work). And so almost all day.
"On every aspect of our daily life -Work at home, rest on weekends, career, relationships with others - you can think productively or unproductively. We fall into the same trap, regardless of whether we are washing dishes or thinking about marriage or divorce. The difference is not in the subject of our thoughts, but in the approach to the subject. If we get rid of at least one of these pitfalls, we will find that our problems in all areas simultaneously become less complicated. " Let this quote from the book "Mental Traps" help formulate a new approach to one's own life, from which useless teams, attitudes and false priorities will gradually disappear.