After 13-14 years in the status of mother, you suddenlyHorror realized that your "angel" grew up and became unmanageable. Attempts to strengthen control in this case are futile. The main thing is not to panic and follow certain rules.
It should be remembered that for children in adolescentsThe authority of parents falls sharply, and friends and street come first. The stronger you resist this, the more violent a child will be to defend his right to personal freedom.
Accept the fact that your child is growing up. Teach yourself to knock when you want to enter the teen's room. Thus, you will let know that you respect his right to freedom and personal space.
The first love, the desire to be like everyone else - to youWill have to learn to trust the child in these matters. You can explain that you will always be a friend and assistant, but you can not insist on discussing any personal topics.
Explaining to the adolescent the rules of behavior, alsoBe guided by freedom of choice. Avoid direct blackmail: "If you do not immediately do the lessons - you will not go for a walk, etc.". Motivate with different variants of the consequences: "Unsold lessons lead to a decrease in the graduation marks, which means that you will not have privileges for admission to the university" or "You can achieve a lot if you study well."
Do not forbid communication with friends whoYour opinion) have a bad influence. Calmly explain: "This is your life, you can try cigarettes or drugs, but you will look much cooler if you show willpower now, than then try to overcome the already hardened habit."
Encourage responsibility in theSexual intercourse. According to statistics, the percentage of teenage pregnancy is growing every year. Tactfully inform your child about contraceptive methods. It is important to bring to the consciousness of a teenager the fact that love is not a stormy sex in a hurry due to fear of being caught, and tenderness and respect for each other.
Avoid aloud to question teenageFeelings, like: "Is this love? You have such love, you still know how much it will be! ". Take into account that the child at 12-14 years old exacerbated the sense of maximalism, any drama is perceived as a universal catastrophe, and any sympathy is like a love for life. Try to act unobtrusively: observe and intervene only when you feel a threat to the psyche and health of the child.
To become a friend of your child - tryTo take his place. Remember what kind of teenager you were and tell us about your behavior. Perhaps this will help to get closer. Try to avoid notations: "Here I am at your age ...". Much more effective will be the phrase: "You know, I recognize you in yourself. I used to be ... ".
Encourage any hobbies of a teenager, even if notDivide and do not understand them. Does the child want to become a bench, metalworker or goth? Study these informal movements and try to find in them the positive aspects. The better you are to understand what is interesting to the child - the sooner you will regain the lost credibility.