Adoption of the child is one of the most important solutions for many married couples.
Not everyone is ready to take this step, but if the decision is made definitively and irrevocably, it is necessary to think about the problems that can arise in the upbringing.
Problems can be divided into 3 groups:
- adaptation of an adopted child to a new family -
- the health of the child.
Adaptation of an adopted child in a new family
Adopted child at almost any ageHas behind his shoulders not the most rosy experience. And even if you immediately surround him with the utmost care and love, the experienced mental trauma will be in one way or another in the first time, but manifest. It can be anxiety or sleep disorder, lack of appetite, non-standard reactions to what parents do. At the first stage it is a mistake to believe that warmth, caring, cozy home and various toys will immediately change the child. He often questions why he was abandoned, why they left, why no one cared about him before and did not like. Such problems need to be prepared in advance and, if necessary, to provide psychological support to the child. Do not be scared if the child begins to close or, on the contrary, spill out the accumulated emotions outwards.
Sometimes a child may begin to reject parents,And in many different ways: to swear, behave badly, invent tricks that cause a negative reaction from adults. These problems are solvable, the main thing is to approach them correctly and, if necessary, contact a psychologist.
Often there is a reverse situation. A child who has not received enough love in the past, tries to fill this gap and is very attached to those who care for him, it can be not only the parents, but any person who cares for the child's attention and care. In a similar situation, the child has several objects of adoration, but in fact this leads to the fact that the child is not really attached to anyone. He is passive and trustful, which is a certain kind of problem for establishing normal relations and contacts with others and, first of all, with his parents.
In the process of education, it happens thatParents, not finding contact with the child, begin to blame not only themselves, but also that he does not appreciate them, does not try to establish relationships, causes conflicts and quarrels. But in this case, parents simply forget that this behavior is just protection from the child, most often it is sewn on a subconscious level for everything that the kid experienced before. It is not necessary in this case to abandon the child (and this often occurs), you need to consult with specialists and with their help to solve all the problems. With the right approach, after a short period of time the child will change his behavior and will not only be happy himself, but will also make his adoptive parents happy.
Many adoptive parents are afraid of panicHeredity, and this often becomes one of the problems in education. Fear of heredity does not just appear, but because of years of claims that the apple from the apple tree does not go far, and the child of an alcoholic, a drug addict, a disadvantaged person can not become a good and full member of society. But this opinion is a relic of the past, genetics has repeatedly argued that heredity, while it affects the development of the personality, is not dominant. Only upbringing can form the personality of the child and only from it will depend on how he will grow.
Do not be afraid of heredity, do not needBe afraid that the parents of the child have laid something bad in it. We must first think about how to make sure that your approach to education does not provoke negative consequences.
The health of an adopted child frightens parentsNot less than heredity. Fears are justified, because often raising a child in an orphanage does not allow him to deal with his health, but this should not frighten future parents. The level of development of medicine is now so high that all the existing health problems are easily solved. And the diseases are often not so serious as to intimidate them. Moreover, it is likely that even with the healthiest child, health problems sometimes manifest themselves with age, but absolutely nobody is immune from this situation.
If you decide on a very serious andTake a responsible step, weigh all the pros and cons so that you do not make a mistake and do not harm the child or yourself. There will always be problems, but with the right approach they will be resolved almost instantly. When raising a foster child, you need to think about each step and act, because only you will depend on how the child will grow up, and how he will treat you and others. In most cases, foster families are happy with both children and parents, and it is often impossible to imagine that the child is an offspring.