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How to deal with grievances

How to deal with grievances

Resentment usually arises as a response to the feeling of frustration caused by unfair or insulting.

Often the resentment in people call it deceived expectations towards others.



Firstly, your abuser may have no idea,someone with him for something offended. So does it make sense to take offense at someone who never did not even know? If you want to clarify the situation, tell him about your feelings, but do not use the guilty expression, and phrases like: "I feel hurt. I hate when you do so-and-so or not doing what I expect from you. "


Get rid of the emotions completely impossible. You can talk about them, but do not expect from other people, that they are something you need or obligation. Think of a good attitude to you as a gift, as a sign of sympathy or anything, but just not as immutable reality, deviations from which are not allowed.


If you are offended by the man for what he did notlived up to your expectations, keep in mind that people can not read your mind. If you are expecting that people will go some way towards you, try to ask him about it, or at least hint. Wait for others to guess your desires, and even offended when this does not happen, is just silly.


Perhaps offending you, man inadvertently hurt youfor a sore spot. Before you take offense, consider whether he did it deliberately, or did it happen more by chance, "without a second thought" on his part. Even if he is deliberately insulting told you the truth in the eye (because very often people take offense to the truth is unpleasant for them), thank him for it.


Admit, for example, that in his words there is a sharethe truth, and shall carry out the situation something useful for themselves. Perhaps it is that for which you need to work, and you do not dare to admit to myself that it is really necessary. In addition, if a person is honest with you, instead of spreading rumors behind his back, it is worthy of respect.


If you hurt a stranger, whichhave nothing in common (pushed in transport, we stepped on the foot, and so on.), and probably you will never see more, better just take it with humor and forget. But if it is a conflict with a close friend or relative, it is unlikely to do without conversation, "heart to heart". Start a conversation yet only when the emotions subside and you will be able to speak calmly, without mutual accusations and recriminations.

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