Throughout our life, we, without exception, even for a certain period wanted to change a loved one, his behavior, some features.
It could be parents, a loved one, a close friend, etc.
As a rule, the desire to change another does not lead to anything, but often the understanding of this comes too late.
Is it possible to change a loved one after all?
Why do we want to change a loved one?
Let's start by analyzing whyThere is a desire to change a loved one. We do not like any features of behavior, quality of character, outlook on life. If communication with another person is not of an episodic nature, then unpleasant traits or qualities become too obvious and start to frankly irritate.
Here and there is a desire to change a loved one. For example, we do not like laziness, we begin to get irritated, we tell him that we need to root out laziness, we look for ways to do this, etc.
How do people usually want to change a loved one?
The desire to change a person is manifested in some words and actions. We start talking about this, offering some ideas. And in this approach there are already several mistakes.
The first mistake is that the source of our rejectionSome quality or feature is actually in us. We do not like laziness, because it is hidden in us, does not like assertive behavior, because, perhaps, we have a desire to behave more confidently, but in life it does not work. Any quality that irritates another person is present in us, but only we do not see or accept it. Therefore, we begin to focus on it, if we meet in another person.
It is very important to turn inward and realize why one or another manifestation in an intimate person is irritating.
The second error is that the desireChange any quality in a close person, based on their own position of rejecting it in themselves, leads only to conflicts and the enhancement of this quality in the near. If you are annoyed at the uncertainty of the spouse and try to change it, he will become more and more insecure. And this applies to almost any quality or manifestation that we are trying to change in this way in a close person.
At this moment, unfortunately, thousands of marriages broke up and many relationships collapsed.
Is it possible to change another person?
Probably, yes, if you can avoid the two above errors.
To do this, you must clearly understand that whatYou want to change, does not come from your personal conflicts. It is necessary to change the motive and not solve their problems at the expense of a close person, as often in this case and occurs. If you understand that you want to change something because of internal contradictions - give up this idea for now. Nothing good will come of it.
Approval in relation to positive qualities
If you are convinced that you are not trying to change another person, solving your problems, then there is a good way to nurture or cultivate positive qualities in it.
Be approved in relation to thoseQualities that you want to strengthen. If a person is lazy, and you approve of each his desire to show initiative, even if this desire is still very small, then gradually he himself will want to gradually develop in this direction. Here it is necessary to support and approve all such manifestations and celebrate successes, albeit at first very insignificant.
So you can nurture many positive qualities.
So, when answering the question, is it possible to changeA close person, we have to recognize the dual nature of the answer. If you do it wrong, you can break firewood, and vice versa, the right motivation and strategy can give a good result in this direction, which will turn out to be beneficial for you and for your loved one.