Throughout his life, all of us, without exception, at least some period of change like a loved one's behavior, some features.
This could be a parent, a loved one, a close friend, etc.
As a rule, the desire to change the other to nothing lead, but the understanding of this often comes too late.
Can I still change a loved one?
Why do we want to change a loved one?
Let us first analyze whythere is a desire to change a loved one. We do not like any behavioral traits, qualities of character, outlook on life. If communication with the other person is not anecdotal, unpleasant traits or qualities become too obvious and begin frankly annoying.
Here and there is a desire to change a loved one. For example, we do not like lazy, start to get irritated, we tell him that you need to stamp out a lazy, looking for ways to do, etc.
How do people usually want to change a loved one?
The desire to change a person is shown in some words and actions. We are starting to talk about it, to offer some ideas. And this approach is already a few mistakes.
The first mistake is that the source of our rejectionsome qualities or features is actually in us. We do not like laziness, because it is present in a latent form in us, I do not like assertive behavior, because, perhaps, there is a desire in us more confident to behave, but it does not work in my life. Any quality that annoys another person is present in us, except that we do not see or do not accept in yourself. Therefore, we begin to dwell on it as consideration if we meet in the other person.
It is important to turn inward and realize why this or that annoying manifestation in the loved one.
The second mistake is that the desirechange any quality in the loved one, based on the rejection of his own position in itself, only leads to conflicts and strengthen this quality in the close-up. If irritated at uncertainty spouse and try to change it, it will become more and more uncertain. And this applies to almost any quality or the appearance that we are trying in this way to change in a loved one.
At this point, unfortunately, thousands of marriages broke up and destroyed many relationships.
Is it possible to still change the other person?
Probably yes, if you manage to avoid the above two mistakes.
To do this, you must understand that whatyou want to change, does not come from your own personal conflicts. It is necessary to change the tune and solve their problems at the expense of a loved one, how often, in this case happens. If you realize that you want to change something because of internal contradictions - yet refuse this idea. Nothing good comes out of it will not work.
Approval with respect to the positive qualities
If you are sure, do not try to change the other person, solving their problems, that is a good way to nurture or cultivate positive qualities in it.
Be approval in relation to thequalities that you want to strengthen. If a man is lazy, and you approve his every desire to take the initiative, even if this desire is very small, then gradually he himself wants to gradually move in this direction. Here it is necessary to support and approve all such manifestations and celebrate the successes, even if at first very small.
So you can grow many positive qualities.
Thus, answering the question, is it possible to changea loved one, we have to admit twofold answer. If you do it wrong, you can commit follies, and vice versa, the right motivation and strategy can give a good result in this direction, which will result in benefit for you and for your loved one.