Sometimes there are situations when lifeforces to build relationships with not quite a nice person, sometimes with those who frankly bad refers, shows a clear lack of respect, and even openly hates.
For example, the daughter had to endure her husband's dislike of the mother or the worker is forced to work with a contentious person.
Is there a way to build such a relationship?
Sometimes life presents us with a man whoIt refers to us negatively, and thus impossible to avoid contact with them. What steps should be taken to ensure that, at least, mitigate the situation?
Step back from the situation and analyze the cause of the negative attitude towards you
We need to clearly understand why the person showsnegative attitude or even hate you. At this stage, you can not change the situation, but the information will help to build another line of your behavior with him.
If negative behavior associated only withhuman nature, and you are in a field of its activity by accident - this is one option. If you somehow touched something important to him, even if it is erroneous interpretation - it is a different situation. Understand why a man so sensitive about. Perhaps he is afraid to lose something, to be alone, to receive less attention?
At this stage, you need to clearly understand the hostility and try not to treat this fact.
Your views on the situation - one of the most important factors of its development
The conflict is based on the fact that one party is opposed, the other in some way allows so treat yourself, otherwise all the hostility would have passed by.
Look at the situation detached. As it begins, develops the feelings experienced by all participants?
For example, if you start to attack andexpress unfounded accusations, you react in the appropriate manner - you consider them unjust, offended (silently or verbally), etc. That is the foundation on your part, which supports the conflict and gives it to develop.
Now imagine that your site would bea completely different person, that would not take unfair charges to your account, to ignore them, do not take offense to the internal aggressor injustice and calmly reacted to the situation in a positive manner. Try to imagine what would develop in the future such a conflict? He would have died down considerably, and the aggressor, having lost the target, which allowed him to show aggression, would soon switched to the other person.
So, change his own position is capable of direct relations in another direction.
However, to make it very difficult, because there will have to overcome their habits and attitudes.
How to develop the right attitude to the situation?
To treat this situation correctly,that is, not taking charges on your account without showing the inside of aggression and react in a positive way you need a special quality, which in Christianity is called humility. It was his presence can be emotionally extinguish the conflict, while the inner aggression and fair indignation on the contrary will lead you to increased conflict.
Humility is a very complex quality andproduced it long enough. Humility includes lack of response to the unjust acts of aggression and a positive attitude to the situation and the other person, despite his misconduct. As we know from history, a preacher of humility was Christ himself.
You can use simple techniques that can help develop the right attitude to the person who you may hate.
To do this, in each conflictkeep track of your emotions, not to develop a response to injustice offense, understand that this situation is a kind of test of inner maturity. If this phase of work - half the job done. If not, you must first at least not outwardly express their aggression in verbal sparring. You may need to use some tricks to throw out the aggression later through physical activity (sports exercises, jogging, etc.) or by keeping a diary. It is not necessary to save a concealed resentment or irritation. These emotions need to produce, but to secure for ourselves and for other forms.
And at the final stage, when all describeda habit, you can add one technique that may initially seem strange. We need to find the aggressor in something positive and thank him mentally. If this is not obtained at the time of negative attitudes, practice this technique at other times. You can thank him for something good that is in each person, or for any specific symptoms. Even he did something good, and can be specifically for us, but we have not seen before.
Thanks needed as a counterbalance to aggression. Sooner or later repay aggression.
So, developing the right attitude to the person who hates you, you can get out of the conflict and make it virtually invisible.