Sometimes there are situations where lifeMakes us build relationships with a not quite pleasant person, sometimes with someone who is frankly ill, shows obvious disrespect and even frankly hates.
For example, a daughter-in-law has to endure the dislike of her husband's mother or an employee has to work with a conflict person.
Is there a way to build such a relationship?
Sometimes life confronts us with a person whoRefers to us negatively, and thus it is impossible to avoid communication with him. What steps should be taken to at least mitigate the situation?
Step aside from the situation and analyze the reason for the negative attitude towards you
It is necessary to clearly understand why a person manifestsA negative attitude or even hates you. At this stage, you can not change the situation, but this information will help build another line of your behavior with it.
If negative behavior is associated only withCharacter of the person, and you have got in a field of its activity casually is one variant. If you somehow touched on something important for him, even if it is his erroneous interpretation - this is a different situation. Understand why a person is so sensitive. Maybe he's afraid of losing something, being alone, getting less attention?
At this stage you clearly need to understand the essence of the hostile attitude and try not to treat this fact in any way.
Your attitude to the situation is one of the most important factors of its development
The conflict is based on the fact that one participant is hostile, the other somehow allows you to treat yourself like that, otherwise all hostility would pass by.
Look at the situation detached. How does it begin, how it develops, what feelings are experienced by all participants?
For example, if you are attacked andTo express unfounded accusations, you react in an appropriate way - you consider them unfair, take offense (silently or in words), etc. This is the basis on your part that supports the conflict and allows it to develop.
And now imagine that in your place would beA completely different person who would not accept unfair accusations at his own expense, ignore them, take offense internally at the injustice of the aggressor, and calmly react to the situation in a positive manner. Try to imagine how this conflict would develop in the future? He would have been noticeably extinguished, and the aggressor, having lost the target, which, allowing him to manifest aggression, would soon switch to another person.
So, changing one's own position is able to direct relations in another direction.
However, this is very difficult, because here you have to overcome your habits and attitudes.
How to develop the right attitude to the situation?
To treat this situation correctly,That is, without taking charges at one's own expense, without showing internal aggression and reacting in a positive way, we need a special quality, which in Christianity is called humility. It is his presence that can emotionally extinguish the conflict, while internal aggression and just outrages will lead to an intensification of the conflict.
Humility is a very complex quality andIt is produced long enough. Humility includes the absence of retaliatory aggression against unjust acts and a positive attitude toward the situation and to another person, despite his misconduct. As we remember from history, the preacher of humility was Christ himself.
You can use simple tricks that can help to work out the right attitude towards a person who probably hates you.
This is necessary in every conflict situationTrack your emotions, do not develop a resentful grudge against injustice, understand that this situation is a kind of exam for internal maturity. If this stage turns out - half the battle is done. If not, at first it is necessary at least not to manifest your aggression outwardly in a verbal skirmish. It may be necessary to use some techniques to throw out aggression later through physical activity (sports exercises, running, etc.) or through keeping a diary. Do not save in yourself a secret insult or irritation. These emotions need to be released, but in a safe for themselves and for others.
And in the final stage, when everything describedHas become a habit, you can add one technique, which at first may seem strange. It is necessary to find something positive in the aggressor and to thank him mentally. If this does not work out at times of his negative attitude, practice this technique at another time. You can thank him for something good that is in every person or for any specific manifestations. Even he did something good, maybe for us, but we have not seen this before.
Gratitude is necessary as a counterbalance to aggression. Sooner or later, aggression will be extinguished.
So, developing the right attitude to the person who hates you, you can get out of the conflict or make it almost invisible.