On the first day of the birth of the baby, we not only take care of him, but also to build a relationship with him.
How to build a relationship with an adult, at least intuitively, we understand, but with the baby ...
Somehow, it seems that things should be different.
He and the answer is not immediately able to, and did not seem tovery aware that he say ... a little more ... In fact the children so much sincerity, energy and personality ... where it all goes away when they become adults?
You will need
- The desire to build a harmonious relationship with the child
Talk with your child. It is important to understand that you are a guide for the child in the world, you open it to him. It does not matter that at first he does not answer to you - he gets used to the voice of the parents, to speech, to actively develop the brain structures that are designed to process verbal information. Thus you contribute to mental health. Through it the child learns to perceive emotions. Tells what is happening around, what you see is what you feel. If you are upset by something, you can say about it - so will be fixed relationship between verbal and nonverbal. It is important to remember, the information must not be contradictory - if your whole body, facial expressions, intonation say that you are upset - and then have to describe the mood of the same category, such as "Mom today a little upset ..." rather than "Nothing happened. It's okay ... "By sending conflicting information, you make it difficult process of learning to recognize emotions, and when the child will grow - it will be difficult to trust yourself - it will be guided by the words of a significant person, not on his own feelings.
Children from birth to their true emotions. It is in the process of education, they learn their hide, replace, suppress. Even if you do not really like how responsive baby - take his feelings, he has rights and angry, and yelling ... Your task is to teach the child to express their socially acceptable way, but not camouflage. The child builds his behavior, based on your responses to his needs. If a child demonstrates once again from the reaction that you do not seem to be encouraging, for example, screams in the shop when something is bought - then somewhere it was learned that just so you can get what you want. It remains to understand, when you have time to fix it and what guided - minute "If only stopped screaming ..." or something else. Realizing this, you adjust primarily the behavior and wait for the change of the child's behavior.
The predictability of the world. For young children is important predictability of the world - because they trust in him emerges, the internal reduced anxiety, psyche formed more stable. For example, the daily routine becomes recognizable over time, and the child is internally ready and know what to expect. And when my mother for the first time for a long time leaving the baby - it is not and it is a fact, and when he returns - is not a fact. Just coming back over and over again, my mother teaches the child to trust. there is no concept of time for small children and a property as to suffer / to wait until they are familiar. If he is tired, he needs a rest now ... otherwise - moods, "bad behavior." With this in mind, it is easier to understand the behavior of the child to the parent. Only in an environment of trust, love and acceptance - a child can fully develop. Of course, the world itself is unpredictable, and when the child will discover it - it has to be strength to cope. And there is no need to control everything, to ensure that this very illusory predictability.
Always ask yourself - what I am teachingbaby? Especially when you do not know what to do - enable / disable, scold / praise. This can be a compass on the issue of right and wrong, or I am doing. When a child on the playground does not want to share a toy - it is possible to "persuade" him on the basis of considerations such as "greedy person be not good", "What think Mom kid with whom your child does not want to share" ... or he can decide to want or not, it's his toy - it will be the first steps towards independent decision-making, focusing on themselves and their desires. In addition to the child's self-esteem will be that considered him. Children do not have the concept of a small / large - a different attitude. This grafted adults. You will see for yourself when the child will begin to ask - why you can be, and he was - No argument - "Because you're small, but I'm an adult," is not persuasive and insulting to him.
You, as an example to follow. If you declare and demand from the baby, such as respect for the things themselves, and then have to demonstrate this attitude. Otherwise, it will double the child letters and special forces will not have. On the contrary, accustom the baby to say one thing and do - more. Personal example - a special power, as well as an example of bad behavior of another child - if you pay attention to this kid and talk to him, this may be enough to he himself did not conduct. Children learn a lot by looking at adults. A child is like a mirror of what is happening in the family, so that parents teach by example. And if there is something in the behavior of the child, that is alarming - it is an occasion to reflect on all the family lives what he teaches every parent. Family - is a system, and all family members are interrelated.
He Said - done! If you make a promise to a child - should definitely perform. And even if the bad behavior you something threatened - will have to perform. First, it forms a position consistent behavior and a serious attitude to the baby's mother said. Mom teaches taken seriously. Mom can not just joke and entertain, but also to restrain his word. Second, the child learns to take responsibility for his actions, if he is misbehaving on the playground - a promise to withdraw from it if the behavior does not change, providing the child the right to choose.