From the first birthday of the baby, we not only take care of it, but also build relationships with it.
How to build relationships with an adult, at least on an intuitive level, we understand, but with a baby ...
For some reason it seems that everything should be different.
He will not be able to respond immediately, and it seemsEspecially understands what you say ... small because yet ... There is so much sincerity, energy and individuality in children ... where does it all go when they become adults?
You will need
- The desire to build a harmonious relationship with the child
Talk with the child. It is important to understand that you are a guide for the child into the world, you are opening it to him. And it does not matter that at first he does not answer you - he gets used to the voice of parents, to speech, brain structures that are designed to process verbal information are actively developing. Thus, you contribute to the child's mental development. Through speech, the child learns to perceive emotions. Tell us what's going on around you, what you see, what you feel. If you are upset by something, you can talk about it - this will fix the connections between the verbal and the non-verbal. It is important to remember that the information should not be contradictory - if all your body, facial expressions, intonation say that you are upset - then the mood should be described in the same categories, for example "Mom is a little upset today ...", not "Nothing happened. Everything is good ... "By sending conflicting information, you complicate the process of learning to recognize emotions, and when a child grows up - it will be hard for him to trust himself - he will be guided by the words of a significant person, not his own feelings.
Children from birth are truthful in their emotions. This in the process of education they learn to hide, replace, suppress. Even if you do not really like how the kid reacts - accept his feelings, he has the right to be angry and shout ... Your task is to teach the child to express them in a socially acceptable way, but not camouflage. The child builds up his behavior based on your reactions to his needs. If the child demonstrates once or twice a reaction that you do not seem to encourage, for example, screaming in the store, when something is not bought, it means that somewhere it was learned that this is how you can get what you want. It remains to understand when you managed to fix it and what guided - a minute "Just stop shouting ..." or something else. Having understood this, you correct your behavior first and wait for the child's behavior to change.
Predictability of the world. For young children, the predictability of the world is important - so in them the trust to it arises, the inner anxiety decreases, the psyche is formed more stable. For example, the mode of the day becomes recognizable with time and the child is internally ready and knows what awaits him. And when my mother leaves the baby for the first time for a long time - it's not there and that's a fact, and when it comes back - it's not a fact yet. Only coming back time after time, mother teaches the child to trust. For young children there is no concept of time and such a property as to suffer / wait until they are familiar. If he is tired, he needs rest right now ... otherwise - vagaries, "bad behavior". With this in mind, it is easier for the parent to understand the child's behavior. Only in an atmosphere of trust, love, acceptance - a child can fully develop. Of course, the world itself is unpredictable, and when the child discovers this for himself - he will already have the strength to cope. And there will be no need to control everything around to ensure this most illusory predictability.
Always ask yourself - what I'm learning right nowThe kid? Especially when you do not know what to do - to forbid / allow, scold / praise. It can become a compass in the question correctly and or incorrectly I act. When a child does not want to share a toy on the playground - you can "persuade" him, based on considerations such as "Greed is not good," "What does the mother of a child with whom your child does not want to share" ... or he can decide himself He or not, this is his toy - this will be the first steps towards an independent decision-making, focusing on oneself and one's desires. In addition, the self-esteem of the child will remain what is considered with it. Children generally do not have a small / big concept - a different attitude. This is grafted by adults. You will be convinced of this when a child begins to ask - why you can, and he does not, and the argument - "Because you are small and I'm an adult", for him will not be convincing and offensive.
You as an example to follow. If you declare and require of the baby, for example, careful attitude to things, then they themselves must demonstrate this attitude. Otherwise, they will be double messages to the child and will not have special strength. On the contrary, they will teach the baby to say one thing, and do the other. A personal example is a special force, as well as an example of the bad behavior of another child - if you pay attention to this and discuss with the kid, it may be enough that he does not behave like that. Children learn a lot by looking at adults. The child as a mirror of what is happening in the family, what parents are taught by their example. And if something appears in the behavior of the baby, which is alarming - it's an excuse to understand how the family lives, what every parent teaches. A family is a system and all members of the family are interrelated.
He said he did! If you promised something to your child, you must do it. And even if you have threatened something for bad behavior, you will have to do it. First, it forms a position of consistent behavior and serious attitude of the baby to the words of the mother. Accustoms mother to take seriously. Mom can not only joke and entertain, but also restrain their word. Secondly, the child is accustomed to taking responsibility for his actions if he behaves badly on the playground - the promise to leave it, if the behavior does not change, gives the child the right to choose.