The theme of relations between son-in-law and mother-in-law is not in vain so often used in anecdotes.
Their relationship is really tense in most cases.
How does a man build this relationship?
Most often the son-in-law perceives the mother-in-law as interferingAttachment to his wife, and her son-in-law as the culprit of all problems with her daughter. There may be other grounds for a tense relationship, but, in fact, they perceive each other as antagonists.
The essence of the eternal conflict
From the mother-in-law's cause the conflictIs that the son-in-law begins to enjoy the rights to her daughter, which she has been growing for many years and has invested a huge amount of effort in her development and upbringing. A man, as a rule, does not think about it and takes it for granted that he gets himself a girl and does not owe anyone to anyone. And my mother-in-law takes it as some injustice: "I came to everything ready and does not even think that he owes this to me."
Of course, this conflict is hidden, itsParticipants do not even understand its essence, and then there are simply discontent that can swell up to serious conflicts. Occasions can serve as minor events - not so put the cup, not the tone said, etc.
What is the difficulty for my son-in-law in relations with my mother-in-law?
Mother-in-law, as a woman rich in life experience,Can often put his son-in-law in a guilty position and use the topic of responsibility to hurt him. The topic of responsibility is the most painful topic for men, especially if it is not originally its strongest feature. A man is always the most hurt by remarks about the fact that he could not do something, something he did not work out. Such comments are very painful for them, and the mother-in-law, if desired, closely studying the family of her daughter, can give such remarks in unlimited quantity. And the less a man has succeeded in life and is subject to such remarks and the more his mother-in-law wishes to hurt him in this direction, the more strongly and more vividly does the conflict begin to flare up.
As a son-in-law to treat the mother-in-law, to build with herHarmonious relationship? As in the case of relations with the mother-in-law, Vedic philosophy recommends that a man treat his mother-in-law even better than his own parents. And this attitude should be cultivated at the level of the senses, and not just in words. If a man recognizes that he, in fact, is something the mother-in-law owes and manifests it in his attitude, then part of the underlying hidden conflict may come to naught, and relations with his mother-in-law can become very positive and warm. If a man belongs to the mother-in-law initially disrespectful - the tension will necessarily manifest itself in one form or another. Parents' parents harder to forgive disrespect than their parents, because their parents take their children initially much easier.
If the mother-in-law interferes too much in the life of the family
When the mother-in-law tries to control everything too much,What happens in a young family, this inevitably affects negatively the relationship. Here, the man as the head of the family should put the boundaries of the intervention and clearly explain the mother-in-law, where and to what extent it can interfere with the life of the young family. If a man builds these boundaries without violating the principle of respect and demonstrating responsibility towards his wife, the mother-in-law will accept his rules and treat them with respect. The greater the responsibility a man exerts in relation to his family, the less he will be prone to a sense of guilt that his mother-in-law can try to impose on him.
To avoid conflict with a manMother-in-law, it is necessary to understand the features of these relations and build relationships based on certain principles. However, in most cases, it is advisable for a young family to live separately and plan time for communication with parents.