Raising a child is not an easy task. Sometimes it is difficult to resist the irritation, seeing how a son or daughter doing something wrong, as you want. However, it is also not worth it to rush into a defenseless child with tiny phrases. Psychologists sing out 10 phrases that are capable of inflicting moral trauma on children.
1. "You do not know how!" (You can not, do not understand, etc.). Do not program the child to fail in advance. Evaluate all diligence. If you see that it does not work, say calmly: "May I show you my way ... (tie up shoelaces, wipe off the table, etc.)?".
2. "To whom are you so slow ?!". Avoid harsh assessments of the nature and physical data of the child, so as not to develop an inferiority complex.
3. "Come on, stop crying!". Prohibiting tears, you provoke a childAccumulate negative emotions, which can lead to neuroses and hysteria. The disdainful tone of the phrase shows your indifference to the child problem. It is better to calmly find out the cause of the child's tears and try to help.
4. "Go, do something useful." Waving the child of this phrase, youYou push him to the idea that all his actions before - are pointless and not particularly important. If you want to instill in the child "useful" habits, learn to spend time together more often and to show by your own example what is good and what is bad.
5. "If you act this way, I'll give you to that uncle (aunt, in an orphanage, etc.)". More than anything in the world, children are afraid that they will be abandoned. Do not blackmail your child with his same fears. Explain in detail the rules of behavior in a given situation.
6."Are you smarter than me ?!" ("Do not say nonsense!", Etc.). Very often the child's attempts to challenge somethingEnd with parental anger: "as it is, eggs will still be taught to the chicken!". By imposing your dictatorship, you deprive the child of the ability to make independent decisions in the future. Learn to listen and agree with the child's opinion.
7. "From you alone problems!" ("Because of you ...", "If not for you ...", etc.). It's like saying that aloud regretting thatThe child was born at all. With children it is always difficult, but desperate situations do not happen. Do not shift your own impotence in education to fragile children's shoulders.
8. "Here is Vanya (Lena) then ...". Constantly poking the child into other people's successes, you areMost derogate his own achievements. Why should your son or daughter look like someone? Grow a person, not an imitator. There is also a reverse phrase: "You are the best!", Which also deprives the child of the opportunity to assess his abilities adequately.
9. "You will bring me to the grave!". With this phrase, you will grow in the child a constant sense of guilt for what he causes you so much suffering. Mother's love should not be selective: today I love, tomorrow I do not. Love the child of anyone, even if he broke your favorite vase or again got 2 in mathematics.
10. "Tell your abnormal father (mother) ...". In quarrels or divorces, parents sometimes useChildren, as a means of blackmail, or as an ally in the struggle. Hence the phrase: "Who do you love more?", "Well, go to your father!", Etc. Remember that children need both parents, and your family squabbles on the child should not be reflected.